The Flicker of Fireflies

So I have been doing allot of thinking, and specifically, about this condition with ADD, and Ive come to the decision that I don't want to be a person that fails then blames their failures on a disposition they cannot change. I want to overcome these misgivings with myself and the frustrations. And I feel like I'm on a good path now, I made some good decisions in the last few days that I am proud of. I feel more and more like a whole person these days, since before that I have always felt like I was missing a chunk of myself somewhere, hidden, lost or forgotten in some deep part of my hidden self. I feel like I am more awake and understanding of my place and what I'm here for. In just a few words, I want to describe what it is I am meant to do. I feel that my purpose here on earth, simply, is to create something beautiful. I know my time here is limited, and I know slowly but surely I am approaching the day when my time will be up, all I want to do before that time that I leave my world behind is to leave something beautiful, amazing, captivating and moving behind to my loved ones as if to say, "Thank you for sharing your life with me, we sparks who burn so briefly in the dark. Life is so short, so tender and delicate, and everything is important, even the small stuff, because in the flash and flare of our existence, I have had the opportunity to burn brightly next to you."

The world is beautiful, life is special, and you who share your truths, your pains, your hopes and your dreams, I hope you reach them, because we all are in search of that finality, that one satisfying point in life where we can say, yes, I did it. I hope for you that you reach that , I wish for you to receive that blessing. I believe you will, if you just open your mind, and trust me, everything ends up ok, even if right now all you have is hope. For those of you I will never meet, how crazy it has been this life of ours, how many twists and turns we made that we thought, geeze, what happened, and for all those nights we stayed up worrying, at times loving, singing, dancing, smiling, I hope you had a good one too. For those of you I know, I am grateful, I may not say the right things, I may come off as a jerk sometimes, I might seem frustrated, I may not be handsome, but deep inside is my soul, which burns so passionately for those moments with you that I will cherish forever. I hope you understand where I'm coming from, I'm speaking from the heart, from the most genuine part of me.

I want so badly for you to know me as I am and not what I used to be, I want to shed the difficulties I have faced and grow into the man that I see coming. I want to find that medium, the way that I will create that beautiful thing, that purest, most sincere creation that I have put my heart and soul into, and I want you to understand it. I want you to understand that that beautiful thing I will create, that has my heart, soul and mind into it is not just a painting, or a book, or a picture, what you are looking at, what you are feeling and knowing in that moment of understanding, is me. I want you to remember me, not because I was special, or because I changed your life, or because I became famous, those things are fleeting and can fade away. I want you to remember me because I cared, I genuinely and most sincerely cared for you in my way, even when I had difficulty showing it. I care for you friend, human, person, individual, important, unique, beautiful and because you flicker like fireflies in sync with my own. This is meant for all of you. Take care of each other, you are not alone, I am right here with you.